“Stealing Time” parenting magazine seeks pieces on the theme “Opening”

deadline March 25, 2013; fiction, poetry and memoir; up to 3,000 words; details HERE:

http://www.stealingtimemag.com/submit.html

Paying market for fiction and essays

Brain, Child is a literary mag about motherhood that uses fiction, essays, parody and debate

http://www.brainchildmag.com/contact/guidelines.asp

FREE writing contest for healthy families

“Fruits & Veggies – More Matters” contest; write 1,000 words max about how you’ve lost weight or gotten your kids excited about fruits and veggies; July 1, 2010 deadline; first prize is $1,000 worth of nutrition products and $500 worth of products and coupons. Enter here and click on Community:

http://www.fruitsandveggiesmorematters.org/

Paying market – “Living with Teenagers” magazine

Writer’s Guidelines here:

http://www.lifeway.com/menu/200944/

Anthology seeking short stories & poetry related to parenting

Funds from the sale of this book will be going to children’s charities, including Children’s National Medical Center.

From the submissions, 101 pieces will be chosen to appear in the anthology which is scheduled for released in May of this year.

The book will be a collaborative effort featuring uplifting true stories as well as fictional pieces and poetry all related to the subject of parenting. Funds from the sale of the book will be donated to children’s hospitals and disease research.

Writers are invited to submit their work at Write for Charity’s website along with a short bio that will be printed in the event that their work is chosen for this anthology.

Write for Charity is an organization dedicated to using the written word to improve the world.

For more details or to submit your story to Write for Charity, visit www.writeforcharity.com.

10 QUESTIONS FOR…”Three Cups” author Mark St. Germain

Author interview with Mark St. Germain

I’m Mark St. Germain; I wrote THREE CUPS and April Willy did the beautiful illustrations in it.. This is my first book. I’m a professional writer for films, television and theater. Films include co-writing Caroll Ballard’s DUMA, TV includes THE COSBY SHOW and my plays include CAMPING WITH HENRY AND TOM and FREUD’S LAST SESSION.  In May, a documentary film I conceived and directed, MY DOG, An Unconditional Love Story, will be released by New Video. It is a look at the special relationships between celebrities and their dogs and features Richard Gere, Glenn Close, Isaac Mizrahi, Lynn Redgrave and Billy Collins among many others.

1. Tell us about your latest book. This is the first

2. How did you get started as a writer?

Late. Directing a poetry review when I was in my late twenties I wrote some lyrics for a comedic song. When I heard the audience laugh I was hooked.

3. What does a typical day look like for you?

As close as 9-5 as possible, unless in rehearsals. In the morning I work on one project, in the afternoon another.

4. Describe your workspace.

A former den in our house in Pound Ridge, NY.

5. Favorite books (especially for writers)

There are so many good books for writers from THREE USES OF THE KNIFE by David Mamet to Stephen King’s ON WRITING.

6. Tell us 3 interesting/crazy things about you.

Small menagerie of Sarge, a rescued Lab mix, Charlie, an African Grey Parrot, Mimi, a Meyer Parrot, Connie, a Cockatiel, a pond of Goldfish and a coop of a dozen Chickens.

My son, Daniel, is a stand up comedian who I think is hilarious – especially jokes about me. On the other hand, my daughter, Kate, thinks my own jokes are the worst in the world and I consider it a triumph when she laughs despite herself.

7. Favorite quote:

“Laugh. Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful though you have considered all the facts.” Wendell Berry

8. Best and worst part of being a writer.

The solitary nature of it. And the solitary nature of it.

9. Advice for other writers.

Listen to your own voice, not the voices of praise or criticism that will always surround you.

10. Tell us a story about your writing experience.

I once did a rewrite on a tv film about Abraham Lincoln. When one of the Execs mused that the ending was too sad I asked whether he wanted it to stop pre-Fords Theater. He said, no, he wanted Lincoln to live.

Where can people buy your book?

3 CUPS  can be bought on our website, 3CUPSBOOK.COM or on Amazon.

Author interview with Muriel Gill, “The Ultimate Human Need”

(Note from Wendy: This Q&A is a bit different than the usual ’10 Questions for’ format, but Muriel already had her own Q&A.)

“The Ultimate Human Need” by Muriel Gill

1. Q: In a nutshell, what is the book about?

A: The book deals with a number of issues that affect relations in any society, but in a nutshell, it points at parental absenteeism as one of the causes of juvenile rebellion. It emphasizes the inner need for acceptance, love, affection and to be valued, by every human being

2. Q: Having said that, who is the book directed at? What is your target market?

A: It is for every teenager, to understand how to communicate and interact with their parents. It is for parents with teenage kids and preparing for those years. It is for everyone who has had what they term bad childhood, to be inspired and see and learn that a good, meaningful and fulfilling life is possible after bad childhood. It is for everyone who is battling some amount of unforgiveness and wants to learn how to forgive.

3. Q:  What inspired the writing of the book?

A:  I believe in the power of words, and just want to use the art of writing to help address some of the issues that affect us all. Art can be used as a form of entertaining, but that can always be combined with education and bring across a lesson or answer to societal questions in an edutaining way.  It’s funny, ‘cause the story line evolved in my head while watching a program on TV, debating the morality of euthanasia. Yet, euthanasia occupies only about 2 or 3 pages in the whole book.

4. Q: Have you always known that you wanted to write?

A:  Not always, I discovered the interest a little later in life, and find that I enjoy it. I first started with writing feature movie scripts, hoping I could sell them to anyone interested, but found it difficult to do so. Then I thought it might be a good idea to turn my movies scripts into a book.

5. Q: What do you want your readers to get from the book?

A: The book is both entertaining and educating. The blurbs describe it as riveting and un-put-downable. First of all, I want the readers to enjoy what they are reading, it’s hard to forget what has entertained you, and then I also want the readers to be reminded of all the moral lessons and self-help tips in the book.

6. Q: Is that the reason why you wrote it in a story form, rather than just a self-help book?

A: Precisely, learning something in a fun and entertaining way seems to be easily understandable and effective. It just stays with you for a long time.

7. Q: Are you a teacher, by training?

A: No, I don’t have any formal teaching training. Maybe by nature, ‘cause I find that I like to explain things in detail, and sometimes even repeat myself for clarity. But then, most of us women are detailed by nature, but that does not make us all teachers.

8. Q: What are some of the issues you deal with in your book, other than what you’ve already mentioned?

A: Towards the end, I take quite a bit of time, elaborating on the remedial issues. It is one thing to highlight an issue, dissecting it and talking about where it originates from; like talking about rejection as one of the causes of rebellion. But that is just half the truth, from here on, I think one needs to talk about the treatment, how to bring about total change and reverse the effects of a problem.

9. Q: Talking about the remedy, I notice you talk quite a bit about forgiveness in your book. What is the formula or process of forgiveness. If someone is struggling to forgive those that have hurt him what advice can you give?

A: There’s a 5 step program that is very effective. I found this out while doing research for the book, so I take no credit for it; it’s not my own invention. For easy recall, it’s called the REACH program. Recall the hurt – don’t try to deny or bury it, but don’t dwell on your victimization. Empathize with the one who hurt you. See things from their point of view, feel their feelings and identify with their pressures. Empathy is the key step in forgiving. Altruistically decide to give the gift of forgiveness. Commit to forgiveness publicly; verbalize it to someone, a friend, the perpetrator, or someone. Say it out loud. Hold on to that forgiveness. Do not replay the tape of hurt. Rumination is at the core of unforgiveness. Do not see the perpetrator as a personification of evil, out to deliberately ruin you. This form of forgiveness is difficult in the beginning, especially when you have to empathize with the perpetrator, but it is very effective. In fact, while doing research and reading up on forgiveness, I read about a research that was done, employing two methods of forgiveness. The first group was told to forgive for their own good. They were told that forgiveness benefits them more, and it releases them form bitterness and all the possible accompanying physical effects of unforgiveness, so they forgave quite easily. But after a week or two, when the two groups were compared, the group that forgave for their own benefit, had declined in their resolved to forgive. Forgiveness was mainly a gift to themselves, it was for selfish reasons, it did not necessarily replace negative emotions with positive empathy. But the second group had held on to their forgiveness, ‘cause negative emotions had been truly replaced by positive ones. It looks like we don’t just drop negative feelings; they need to be replaced by something positive.   

10. Q: Does forgiveness always inevitably lead to reconciliation?

A: Forgiveness is not synonymous with reconciliation. Forgiveness is one party deciding to give the altruistic gift of forgiveness, replacing negative feelings with positive ones. Reconciliation on the other hand calls for both parties to desire to reconcile, and both committing themselves to the process of reconciliation.

11. Q: What is the process of reconciliation?

A: Again, this is what I found out during research, again I take no credit for this process. The first step we’ve touched on already. Both parties need to desire and commit to reconciliation, then they need to discuss the transgression, in soft attitudes, with humility and empathy, and no denial. During this discussion stage, there’s the acronym CONFESS. Like I said, I take no credit for this acronym. Confess without excuses. Offer an apology, be sincere, show remorse and be specific. Note the other person’s pain, do not downplay it, do not call them too sensitive of just the imagination of their minds. Forever value. Love is valuing the other person. Equalize. Show an act of kindness to make up for the hurt. Say never. Commit yourself to never hurt the other person the same way again. Seek forgiveness. Ask for forgiveness.

12. Q: You mention parent absenteeism as one of the causes of teenage rebellion. In some cases, you find both parents present, presumably both plugged in, and yet the child turns rebellious. What could the cause be here? 

A: The problem might stem from the parenting style practiced at home. There are different parenting styles, depending on the values, teachings, temperament and personalities of the parents. Then there’s the traditional expectation of stormy teenage years. Parents expect his stage of their kids to be rough, and they talk negative things, in line with their expectations. But, results emerging from new research, show that teenage years need not necessarily be stormy. And to help their teenagers to make a smooth transition into young adulthood, parents need to change their views of their teenagers, change the way they think of them, their expectations, and learn new parenting styles that will actually help their teenagers. The most effective parenting style is when adults parent from the child’s strengths, rather than coming form the negative. Again, I take no credit for this approach. This is called the 5C’s of parenting. They are Competence, Confidence, Connections, Character, Caring. Parents need to find 1 of few things that their child in naturally gifted at, and encourage the child to develop that talent. As the child becomes more proficient at that, they develop confidence in themselves. Confident people are easy to relate with others. This naturally leads to connections. They interact easily with others, Parents need to encourage their teenage kids to develop relations with others outside the home, encourage socialization. Parents need to instill in their children character, both b teaching and by demonstrating it. Character is the internal moral compass, its sets boundaries for the child. It guides them as to what they may or may not do. Then parents need to teach their teenagers care; demonstrate it in the home. They can do certain things together as a family, like volunteering together at an orphanage or assisted living centre.

13. Q: How can a young person handle peer pressure, because at times, they do things purely because of peer pressure?

A: Having a sense of belonging is crucial, especially belonging to a group of people your own age. In fact, it is one thread that runs through the story of my book. Hence the title, The ultimate human need.  Unfortunately, some people will sacrifice everything to feel accepted and validated, especially if they do not have this need fulfilled at home, just like the character in the story in the book. That is why they make reckless decisions and hang out with the wrong crowd.

It’s important for parents to help their kids to develop social skills and good character, which we’ve already defined as an internal sense of moral compass, that defines borders. Hence, sense of belonging should be based on shared common values and interests.

 14. Q: What’s your message to absent fathers?

A: Get back to your child or children. Your absence is sending a damaging message of rejection, and that is hurting a child in ways you cannot imagine.

15. Q: What’s the first step they should do to re-establish, or in some cases, establish a first-time relationship with their child?

A: Apologize for their absenteeism. This takes us back to our CONFESS program, talking about the transgression; honestly and with humility. Acknowledging the pain that your absence or abandonment has caused the child, and honestly and sincerely apologizing for that, and asking to be forgiven. Father/parent, note that you’re not picking up where you left off. It’s new; you start afresh. You start with small unintrusive baby steps, and slowly build a more and mutually trusting relationship. The most important message you want to send to your child, is that you care and you value them.

16. Q: At this stage, can they offer an opinion or correction, when they see something wrong and dangerous that the child may be doing?

A: They can offer an advice, when asked for it. Beyond this point, they have not yet earned the right and privilege of a parent to correct. They forfeited that when they abdicated their parental responsibility, and they cannot return with a whip in their hand.

17. Q: What if it’s something very dangerous and self-destructive?

A: They might need to mention it to the parent who has always been present and let them do the talking. If they strongly feel they should deal with it, they might need to be very honest about it. They might need to begin with: “know I’m not exactly a model parent, I’ve hurt you in the past by my absence, and probably you may feel like I’m not qualified to talk to you about “such and such” problem. But, if you’ll allow me, I will give this “advice” or avail myself to give assistance in this particular way; e.g. like when it’s a case of drug abuse, he might avail himself to check the child in a rehabilitation center. We touched on this earlier on, offering an act of kindness to compensate or make up for the pain of the past. It also sends the message that you care about the welfare of your child.

Then, he will need to express his faith in the child’s ability to change that destructive behavior. This tells the child that he is intrinsically good, and that his father believes in him. Almost everyone who has made a positive change from a destructive behavior will always cite one person who believed in them. This is also the point in case in the life our young character in the book, The ultimate human need.

18. Q: Talking about making a positive change, how can someone who has had a bad childhood, or a bad past, make a transition into a positive life?

A: A good life after a bad childhood is possible, it’s not easy, but you can create   it. Again what I’m about to say, I’ve found out during my research for the novel, so I take no personal credit for it.

First, accept the truth that you were hurt, don’t deny it, but refuse to define yourself according to those experiences. If you do, you take over the abuse and become your own torturer. What was done to you in the past was not about you; it was not because you’re a bad person. So define yourself correctly.

Then accept who the abuser is, not embracing it, but accepting that that is who they are and leaning to relate with them around those shortcomings, knowing that you cannot change them, and neither are you responsible for their change. No one can change the other person. Accepting is liberating. Understand their emotional struggle and empathize with them. When you do, you cannot but let go. In other words, you forgive them. Empathy replaces hurt, anger, resentment and bitterness. Negative emotions are now replaced with positive ones.

When emotions have changed, behavior is easy to change. In bad childhood, you learned al the negative behaviors as coping mechanisms, now learn to replace them with new behaviors and reactions. 

Then reach out to someone and give some affection attention and approval. Hurting people have a tendency to want everybody to give to them, but they never or rarely reciprocate that love. But what you give, you will receive back. Give what you yearn for, and you will receive it back.

Decide to be a loving spirit, and find a greater purpose to live for, a passion to give yourself to. This takes the attention off of yourself. Hurting people have the tendency to obsess about themselves, but as you give yourself to something, you have less time to think about your hurt.

Then, learn to keep things in perspective. Without making light of anyone’s bad childhood, don’t think that your situation is the worst. There are others that are worse off than yours.

Lastly, adopt a positive attitude – it is a significant mind-set for a good life. Learn to count your blessings and be thankful.

AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY

This, “The Ultimate Human Need,” is Muriel Gill’s debut novel. She cares about social issues, and through her writing seeks to make positive contribution and promote better social understanding and harmonious interactions.

She has obtained her honors degree from the University of the North West in South Africa. She has worked as a Chief Data Coordinator, Information Analyst, Project Manager and has owned her own Bookstore.

FACT SHEET

Title: The Ultimate Human Need

Author; Muriel Gill

Publisher: American Book Publisher, Salt Lake City, Utah.

Number of pages: 300

ISBN: 1-58982-371-0

Binding; Paperback

Price: $22.00

The book is available either from my website www.murielgill.com or from the publisher direct online bookstore www.pdbookstore.com/comfiles/pages/MurielGill.shtml.

10 QUESTIONS FOR…J.L. Smith, “Reporting for Doodie”

Author interview with  J.L. Smith

Reporting For Doodie is my first book and I am very excited about the reviews it’s been getting!  I also do a lot of freelance writing for various business owners.  I grew up in a very small town in Pennsylvania, but felt the fire inside and had to break loose!  I left the small town at an early age and never looked back (except to visit my siblings).  Now I live in paradise…Long Beach, CA…and couldn’t imagine living anywhere else!  It has everything and I love it!

1.    Tell us about your latest book.

My book is entitled “Reporting For Doodie:  One Grandmother’s Story of Commitment, Frustration and Unwavering Love”.  

What would you do if you were a (suddenly) single grandmother and both your daughter and son-in-law were deployed at the same time, leaving you as primary caregiver for your 2-year old grandson?  You’d do exactly what I did…Report for Doodie!

So many events inspired this book…some happy, some frustrating, some sad…but all life-changing.  My story starts with one incredibly funny incident that served as an epiphany to share my story.  This was not the first time I was “Reporting for Doodie”, but it was the first time I was doing it all alone.  Or so I thought…I discovered a secret vault filled with friends I never knew I had.  Sadly, I also lost a few along the way.

I found myself in the midst of an unexpected divorce, facing the possible loss of my home and making a major career change, when someone, somewhere took a look at my proverbial “plate” and thought…”there’s a little corner of her plate that isn’t taken, she needs a toddler to care for…oh, and at the same time, let’s throw in a rarely-heard-of medical condition to make her life even more interesting”.

I hope readers enjoy my account of how this beautiful child saved me from myself and how I used ‘The Secret” to channel the inner strength my mother gave me…all compliments of the U.S. Military.

2.    How did you get started as a writer?

My mother instilled the love of the written word in me, particularly through the words of Erma Bombeck; readers of my book have been comparing my style to hers…the ultimate compliment!!

So many events inspired this book…some happy, some frustrating, some sad…but all life-changing.  My story starts with one incredibly funny incident that served as an epiphany to write the book I had always dreamed of.

3.    What does a typical day look like for you?

Up early…write anything…go to my ‘day job”…back home to write some more!

4.    Describe your desk/workspace.

Home office in one of my bedrooms.  White board on the wall that lists all my projects and their deadlines.  A “vision board” right in front of me with pictures (or other documents) depicting what I want…and will get…out of life!

5.    Favorite books (especially for writers)

Again…anything and everything written by Erma Bombeck.  Also enjoy the teachings of “The Secret”.  Anything that entertains me or makes me think.  That was the goal with my current book…making people laugh, cry and really think…and it’s been successful at doing that!

6.    Tell us 3 interesting/crazy things about you

My book was inspired by an incident that happened with my grandson…he ran out the front door of my house – in front of all my neighbors – with my vibrator in his hand yelling: “Gramma…toy…BRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

I got myself on the Oprah Winfrey Show with one well-crafted email.  They contacted me by phone within 3 hours and days later I was in Chicago for the taping of a segment on inspirational self-reinvention stories.

I got my first tattoo at the age of 50.  I was just separated from my husband, had reinvented myself – inside and out – and feeling fabulous at 50!!  I was visiting my siblings in PA and decided to get a tattoo on the back of my neck.  It means “life and birth” because I felt reborn.  I also drug my 2 brothers and my sister (who is 65) along with me and made them get their first tattoos too…what a day!

7.    Favorite quote

Now that’s a tough one…couldn’t name just one…but some of my favorites are scatters throughout my book.

8.    Best and worst part of being a writer

Best part:  being able to express yourself.

Worst part:  there aren’t enough hours in the day to write everything I want to!

9.    Advice for other writers

Follow your dream…don’t give up.  Everyone has a story inside them…just let it out!  When I got the first copy of my book – in draft form – I began shaking.  I’ll never forget that feeling!

10. Tell us a story about your writing experience. 

Again, I must revert to the vibrator story…it was included in Redbook Magazine recently in their embarrassing stories section.  Can you imagine????

Also, when writing my book on my new laptop, I lost the entire book – twice – with no backup due to computer problems.  I guess the third time really is the charm.  I think it’s because as time elapsed while recreating it, the best ending came about with my son-in-law back from Iraq safely. 

Where can people buy your book?

www.ReportingForDoodie.com

www.Amazon.com

Interview with Joe Bruzzese, author of book for parents

Author interview with Joe Bruzzese, “A Parents’ Guide to the Middle School Years” (Ten Speed Press, 2009)

**This interview is slightly different than my usual 10 questions because Joe already had a great Q&A of his own.

What led you to write this book?

With nearly 40 million families entering middle school in the coming decade I knew there was a need to fill. My own experiences as a teacher, coach and teacher trainer gave me further cause for looking at the changes and challenges kids face as they make one of life’s toughest transitions. Books about teens have become confrontational. Often the tone and ideas of teen centered books focus on reacting to the state of chaos that has become synonymous with the teen years. I wanted to create a guide with proactive ideas that would help parents put strategies in place prior to, rather than in response to, moments of frustration.

 

Where did the original idea come from?

While the book focuses on the changes children experience it also highlights how parenting changes. Walking hand-in-hand through the park may have been fun in first grade, but middle school often marks the beginning of a child’s drive to establish an identity, independent of their parents. The shift in a parent-child relationship leaves many parents feeling alone and excluded. Staying connected in positive ways, throughout the middle school years, paves the way for a positive relationship as kids transition into young adulthood. Keeping kids and parents connected underlies many of the ideas and strategies I share throughout the book.

 

Do you have any stories about the writing process?

Talking with people is one of my strengths. Writing was a new genre to pursue, but a passion I had always wanted to explore more fully. Writing a book seemed like a nearly insurmountable goal at times. Words fled from my mind as I sat in front of my computer hunting for the “right” ideas to share. It was only when I shifted my mindset from needing to write to wanting to write that the ideas truly came to life. On the best days, words leapt onto the page. From beginning to end writing a book is a journey, not unlike the journey parents travel with their children. I cherish everyday with my own children, knowing our days together are numbered before they leave home for the last time. As truly challenging as this book was to write I relish in the thought that its message will touch parents in a truly unique way, opening a path toward a fulfilling future.

 

How is your book unique? 

Whereas most books attempt to provide answers this book prompts questions; questions that lead to conversations, which in turn, build relationships. The book wouldn’t be complete without the addition of a selected number of tips and strategies so I’ve included the nuts and bolts of getting organized, managing time and meeting the expectations of teachers across a seven period schedule. My intention in bringing this book to the nearly 40 million parents starting middle school is to provide a solid foundation for thriving in the years ahead.

 

Whether a child starts middle school or junior high in 4^th, 5^th, 6^th or 7^th grade the transition to middle school will mark a significant change in your family. Thriving throughout the middle school years doesn’t happen by accident. Kids and parents who find fulfillment during these years do so because it is their intention and vision to do so. This book lays the groundwork for building a vision that takes parents into, through and beyond the challenges and changes of the middle school years. The logistics of navigating a heavy course load at school and finding the ideal organization system, although important, comprise only a small slice of the pie that families are expected to consume during these years.

Taken at its roots, this book is a conversation about three ideas:  confidence, connection and challenge. Parents looking for a book filled with band-aids and the quick fixes will be disappointed. However, reading from beginning to end will reward the parent who is committed to taking action not just today, but everyday as their child tackles middle school and teen years to come.

 

Favorite childhood book?
Norman the Doorman, by Don Freeman. A stoic mouse stands guard outside the Metropolitan Museum of Art, awaiting a group of friends who eventually celebrate Norman’s sculpture as part of the museum’s artist contest. The illustrations emblazoned a feeling of safety and comfort amidst the frostbitten New York winter. I loved sharing the story with my Mom at the children’s library growing up.

 

What was the hardest thing about writing a book?

The first word and the last word. Taking the first step requires intention, energy and a commitment to steps two, three and four. Believing in your ability to create something of meaning is a formidable obstacle to overcome. Equally foreboding was the last word. How does it end? What’s the right way to say goodbye. I never have been good at saying goodbye.

 

When did you know you were a writer?

I’m not. Technically yes I am a writer. Hemingway was a writer. It’s like saying you’re a swimmer because you finished first in a few races during your college years. Michael Phelps is a swimmer.

 

Who is your hero?

I have two. My daughter Jordyn and my son Tristan. They inspire my days (and nights). I’m in awe of the simplicity they bring to the world and the courage they summon in spite of challenges they face. I couldn’t imagine my life without them.

 

Where were you when your found out your book would be published?
I remember vividly sitting in front of pile of rejection letters as I opened the acceptance from Ten Speed. Instinctively, my hand had already made the move to deposit the letter a top of pile.

 

What book do you re-read every few years?

Change the Way You See Everything holds the premier position in my bookshelf. Inevitably I give my copy away or gift one to a friend. The message inspires my life and the choices that guide my work. Thank you to good friend and colleague, Jason Womack. My life was forever changed the day you shared this book with me.

**Joe just finished the online companion to the book – and it’s now included with the purchase of the book!

You can purchase books online at Amazon and through Joe’s site at www.ThinkingForwardTV.com

10 QUESTIONS FOR…Lisa Jander, author of “Dater’s Ed”

Author interview with Lisa Jander

Lisa Jander is the author of “Dater’s Ed: The Instruction Manual for Parents” a Certified Life Coach, public speaker, and former director of a dating service in California. As the mother of two teens and surrogate to hundreds more, ‘Mama J’ shares her unique relationship insights with her readers in this, her first book, “Dater’s Ed.” She and her husband Owen live in Lake Orion, Michigan. Oops, with their children.

Lisa is 14-years old trapped in and old person’s body. She plays a cello named Sophia, wields a mean sledgehammer, and has more friends than dirty dishes. After a profound midlife awakening, Lisa decided to wrestle her dream to the floor and make it behave.

Lisa doesn’t know anything about cars, including her own.

1. Tell us about your latest book.

Teens pass Driver’s Ed, why not Dater’s Ed?

I was sitting at the kitchen table filling out my son’s Driver’s Ed log and he leaned over my shoulder and said, “I can’t wait until I have my license and I can date!” After my wheels stopped spinning I realized I was completely unprepared for my two teens to travel down that road. They were both accelerating toward the dating highway without a permit and headed for a concrete wall of a dating disaster.

I interviewed parents and teens and the findings were grim. Pregnancies, drugs, alcohol, betrayal, depression, failing grades….all wrapped up in a truckload of broken hearts. I had to do something radically different.

For the next few days, I skimmed through the Driver’s Ed manual and changed the word “driver” to the word “dater” and this great analogy popped off the pages. I thought about how different my dating years would have been if I had had a manual for dating – something that could steer me away from all the dating collisions I had as a teen.

So, I went to work and wrote my own manual to use for helping my kids date defensively, navigate safely and steer clear of unhealthy relationships. The book is called “Dater’s Ed” and all the analogies are of cars and driving. “Dater’s Ed” is to dating what Driver’s Ed is to driving. Together we define Boundary Lines, talk about Dating Under the Influence and even determine who is just a Salesman and who is part of their Pit Crew.

Now, I use 25 years of public speaking experience, my life coach certification and four years as the director of a dating service in California to help other parents prepare for and navigate through the teen dating years. I speak at libraries, schools, churches and youth coalitions to help change the direction and the speed at which these students travel down the road to relationships.

Now that my own kids are on their way, I am dedicated to bringing a fresh perspective to parents and students of all ages.

Buckle up…It’s the Law of Attraction!

2. How did you get started as a writer?

My book was born out of necessity. I had 59,632 words to say to my teens about dating and they wouldn’t sit still long enough to listen – so I wrote a book.

3. What does a typical day look like for you?

Scary! I am a “creative random” which means I can’t follow a straight line and I like to “decorate” what ever path I do chose for the day with my own personal color. I tackle whatever comes up in that moment because at my age – I won’t remember it otherwise. Whether a crisis or opportunity – everything gets top priority. Life is always an adventure!

4. Describe your desk/workspace.

Controlled chaos – piles of creative collections, hundreds of index cards that I use to jot ideas on and use like puzzle pieces on my dining room table to see how my thoughts are developing. All my ideas need to remain in a fluid state or the y become stagnant.

5. Favorite books (especially for writers)

Oswald Chambers – My Utmost for His Highest, Anne of Green Gables, Secret Life of Bees. I found I acted defeated when I read books on publishing or writing – they make me feel inept. (Except, of course, Wendy Burt-Thomas’s  “The Writer’s Digest Guide to Query Letters”)

6. Tell us 3 interesting/crazy things about you.

I learned to play cello at 47 with no musical background whatsoever.  After college, I was a ski-bum in Vail Colorado. Last weekend, I rode in a kayak on a frozen lake going 40 miles per hour in the dark behind a snowmobile.

7. Favorite quote.

”It’s more important to make a life than a living.”

8. Best and worst part of being a writer.

Writing is easy, even publishing is quick and inexpensive with all the options now in technology. Marking is where it gets tough. You have to be consistent and persistent and never let you foot off the gas. Don’t discount any effort; you never know what will work.

9. Advice for other writers.

Write a little every day. Blog, Twitter, Facebook… continue to market yourself because no one else will. Hire people to do what you aren’t good at doing – don’t try to be everything.

10. Tell us a story about your writing experience. 

I was writing a response to an inquiry on Facebook but I didn’t realize I was actually logged in on my teenage daughter’s page and I was responding as her.

Where can people buy your book?

“Dater’s Ed: The Instruction Manual for Parents” can be purchased online at www.DatersEd.com ($16.95 paperback, 272 pages) “Weekly Tune-up” can be found for parents at www.DatersEd.blogspot.com or for teens at www.mamajander.blogspot.com